Three things in life

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back -

(1)- Time
(2)- Embeded Words
(3)- Opportunity

Three things in life that may never be lost -

(1)- Peace
(2)- Hope
(3)- Honesty

Three things in life that are most valuable -

(1)- Love
(2)- Self-confidence
(3)- Friends

Three things in life that are never certain -

(1)- Dreams
(2)- Sucess
(3)- Fortune

Three things that make a man/woman -

(1)- Hardwork
(2)- Sincerity
(3)- commitment

Three things in life that can destroy a man/woman -

(1)- Alcohol
(2)- Pride
(3)- Anger

Three things in life that, once lost, hard to build-up -

(1)- Respect
(2)- Trust
(3)- Friendship

Three things in life that never fail -

(1)- True love
(2)- Determination
(3)- Belief

Take care of these things......

Donkey in the well

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.

 

The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

 

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

 

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.

 

Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw.

 

With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

 

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

 

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

 

MORAL : Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

 

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less

Making Americans Happy

The Clinton's and the Gores are traveling aboard Air Force One.

 

Bill Clinton looks out the window and says, "You know, I bet I could drop a $10,000 bill out the window and make one person very happy!"

 

Al Gore comments, "Yes, but I could drop ten $1000 bills out the window, and make ten people very happy."

 

Hillary Clinton says, "True, but I could drop one hundred $100 bills out the window, and make one hundred people very happy.

 

Chelsea responds, "Big deal! I could drop all of you out the window, and make the whole country happy!"

The Four Cats!

The Four Cats!

 

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were .

 

The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth man was a Government Employee.

 

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."

 

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

 

But the Accountant said his cat could do better.  He called his cat and said,  "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."

 

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies. Everyone agreed that was good.

 

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said "Measure, do your stuff."

 

Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk,, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.

 

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

 

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?"

 

The Government Employee called his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff."

 

Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, shit on the paper, screwed the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

The Melting Princess

Once upon a time there lived a king.
  
The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess!

 

But there was a problem

 

Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; metal, wood, plastic- anything she touched would melt. Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter. He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."

The king was overjoyed. The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth. Three young princes took up the challenge. The first prince brought a very hard alloy of titanium. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted. The prince went away sadly.

 

The second prince brought a huge diamond, thinking that diamond is the hardest substance in the world and surely, it would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted. He too was sent away disappointed.

 

The third prince approached. He told the princess, "Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there." The princess did as she was told, though she turned red. She felt something hard. She held it in her hand. And it did not melt!!!

 

The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.

 

And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.

 

But The Question Is :

 

What was the object in the prince's pants?

 

( scroll down )

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They were M&M's of course!

 

They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
 
What were U thinking ????

Eight Important Lessons

8. Never, any under circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

 

7. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

 

6. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want to share yours with them.

 

5. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

 

4. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

 

3. The most destructive force in the universe is GOSSIP.

 

2. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

 

1. Your Friends Love You Anyway. 

A Little Viagra

An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra.
 
The doctor said,

 

"That's no problem. How many do you want?"
 
  
The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces."
     
  
The doctor said, "That won't do you any good."
 
  
The elderly gentleman said, "That's all right. I don't need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
 

Australian

Once there was an Irishman, an Englishman and an Australian who decided to have a competition. While on top of the hill each man had to chuck his watch in the air, then run down the hill and catch it before it hit the ground.

So the Irishman chucked his watch in the air, ran down the hill and SPLAT the watch hit the ground.

Then the Englishman chucked his watch in the air, ran down the hill and SPLAT the watch hit the ground.

Next was the Australian who chucked his watch in the air, ran down the hill, went and had a beer, did the shopping, came back and caught his watch.

"How did you do that?" asked the Irishman.

The Australian replied "My watch is 1 hour slow !!!!!"

Free drinks for all

A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."

So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $57.00. The drunk says, "I haven't got it."

The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out into the street.

The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."

The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice, so he gives him the benefit of the doubt, pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself and hands the drunk a bill for $67.00. The drunk says, "I haven't got it."

The bartender can't believe it. He picks the guy up, beats the living daylights out of him, then throws him out into the street.

The next day the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy every one in the house a drink, give me the bill. In disgust, the bartender says, "What, no drink for me this time?"

The drunk replies, "You !!?? No way! You get too violent when you drink.

How Santa Singh got his job?

Santa Singh is called for an interview in some firm. He lands there on time .

He is immediately hauled inside in front of the interviewing officer. Officer looks at Santa Singh, goes through his certificates and then starts asking him questions.

Following is the transcript :

Officer : Mr. Santa Singh, after seeing your qualifications & credentials I would like to ask you only some simple questions. If you can answer those then you are selected. First we will start with some opposites.

Santa Singh : Yes, Sir.

Officer started asking questions

Officer : Above

Santa Singh : Below

Officer : Front

Santa Singh : Back

Officer : Left

Santa Singh : Right

Officer : Male

Santa Singh : Female

Officer : Ugly    (means Next in Punjabi)

Santa Singh : Pichhly (means Previous in Punjabi)

Officer : Ugly...U-G-L- Y( Officer spells it)

Santa Singh : Pichhly...P- I-C-H-H-L- Y( Our Santa Singh also spells it)

Officer : U.....G..... L ...... Y.....(Officer shouts)

Santa Singh : P ..... I ..... C ..... H ....... H ...... L ..... Y......

Our Santa Singh also shouts)

Officer is now angry.

Officer : Get out

Santa Singh : Come in.

Officer : Quiet please.

Santa Singh : Talk please.

Officer : You are rejected.

Santa Singh : I am selected ........ .......

And this is how Santa Singh got his job.

BEATING OF HEARTS

BEATING OF HEARTS

 

One heart alone, makes but a single beat
A sound so low and incomplete
A heart all alone, waiting to be heard
Knows not the beauty or songs of singing birds
One heart all alone, knows not love or tenderness
It feels nothing, but has emptiness
A heart alone, searches for its mate
It waits, trust fate, contemplates
Until by chance another beat it hears
That sound it has longed for all these years
Like the timbre of a bass drum
It hears an answer, another thrum

Two hearts are beating, strong and true
The sound grows louder, waiting is through
Two hearts are beating, within one another
Searching is over, they have found that lover
Two hearts are beating, they grow and grow
Together forever, never wanting to go
Two hearts are beating, as the sun goes down
A love true, a love strong, both are bound
And as the sound gently fades into night
Two hearts are beating, this they know is just right

The secret of growing good corn

There was a Nebraska farmer who grew award-winning corn. Each year he entered his corn in the state fair where it won a blue ribbon.

One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learned something interesting about how he grew it. The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbors.

"How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbors when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?" the reporter asked.

"Why sir," said the farmer, "didn't you know? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If my neighbors grow inferior corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbors grow good corn."

He is very much aware of the connectedness of life. His corn cannot improve unless his neighbor's corn also improves.

So it is in other dimensions. Those who choose to be at peace must help their neighbors to be at peace. Those who choose to live well must help others to live well, for the value of a life is measured by the lives it touches. And those who choose to be happy must help others to find happiness for the welfare of each is bound up with the welfare of all.

The lesson for each of us is this: if we have to be happy, we should help us neighbor be happy.

What Life is all About ?

A Long time ago, there was an Emperor who told his horseman that if he could ride on his horse and cover as much land area as he likes, then the Emperor would give him the area of land he has covered.

Sure enough, the horseman quickly jumped onto his horse and rode as fast as possible to cover as much land area as he could. He kept on riding and riding, whipping the horse to go as fast as possible.

When he was hungry,thirsty or tired, he did not stop because he wanted to cover as much area as possible. Came to a point when he had covered a substantial area and he was exhausted and was dying. Then he asked himself, "Why did I pushed myself so hard to cover so much land area? Now I am dying and I only need a very small area to bury myself."

The above story is similar with the journey of our Life. We push very hard everyday tomake more money, to gain power and recognition. We neglect our health, time with our family and to appreciate the surrounding beauty and the hobbies we love to do. One day when we look back, we will realize that we don't really need that much, but then we cannot turn back time for what we have missed. Life is not about making money, acquiring power or recognition. Life is definitely not about work! Work is only necessary to keep us living so as to enjoy the beauty and pleasures of life.

Lessons to Learn from The Story:


Life is a balance of Work and Play, Family and Personal time. You have to decide how you want to balance your Life. Define your priorities, realize what you are able to compromise but always let some of your decisions be based on your instincts.

Happiness is the meaning and the purposeof Life, the whole aim of human existence. So, take it easy, do what you want to do and appreciate nature. Life is fragile, Life is short. Do not take Life for granted. Live a balance lifestyle and enjoy Life!