8. Never, any under circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
7. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
6. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want to share yours with them.
5. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
4. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
3. The most destructive force in the universe is GOSSIP.
2. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
1. Your Friends Love You Anyway.
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